“Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet. Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry.

Let’s not make promises, you never know what tomorrow comes, but I really mean it when I said I like you.

Don’t asks me anything, I can’t give you an answer,we are so happy as we are right now.

Don’t try to have me, let’s just stay like this, you’re making it more painful, why?

Goodbyes after frequent meet-ups, repetition of broken heart, I can’t find a purpose in these foolish feelings.

A mistake with the mask of love, all the feelings are the same now. But in this moment I want you to stay.

Don’t smile at me, if I get attached, I’ll get sad, I’m afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears.

Don’t try to trap us in the words of love, because it’s the greed that can’t be filled.

At first, it was half excitement, half worries. But in the end it became an obligations trial and error. Day by day I get nervous, your innocence is too much pressure on me, but tonight I want you to stay.

Don’t expect too much from me, I don’t want to lose you either. Before things get too deep, before you get hurts, don’t trust me. But I really mean it when I say I like you”

-Let’s not fall in love // Big Bang

I’m 21, I’m still learning about life. I’ve been through a lot just like everyone else. Now I understand why mama always said that “experience is the best teacher”. From family, friends, love life and society.

Just like others, I can’t run from the bad thoughts, toxic feelings and disappointment. I went through repeated heartbreak with friends, I went through heartbreak with boyfriend, I keep revisiting negative memories, I got confused with my future, I always feel not enough with everything.

People called me clumsy because I never do things right. I always asks God to show me the way, to tell me the reason “Why me?”. Ironically, I never realized that I have a better life more than half of the people out there. I was too busy focusing on what I don’t have, I was too busy focusing on negative things (pain & struggles) in my life.

Well, things might not go well now, but guess what? It’s not forever. Just like happiness. Happiness is not permanent. So do pain and struggles they are not permanent. Take it easy and live well.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

“Like the tides, my heart is broken. Like the wind, my heart is shaking. Like the smokes, my love is fading. I sigh deeply and the ground shakes, my heart is full of dust.

I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even a day without you. But from what was expected, I’m getting along quite well by myself.

How about him? Did he make you cry? Did you completely forget about me? Why am I so scared to approach or talk to you?

Don’t look back and leave, don’t find me again and just live on, because I have no regrets from loving you. I can bear it in some way. Day by day it will fades away.

Even one day, we bumbs into each other, pretend you don’t see me.”

-Day by day // Big Bang

“A love I thought would be eternal, drew to a close. Even all the many friends I had are leaving me. I’ve gotten older. I guess I’ve become an adult. Why am I so anxious?

Again today, people stay in the past. The world goes on just fine without me. I’m still young. So I guess I’m still immature. Why am I so stupid?

When I used to be happy despite having nothing, it seems like only yesterday. I think I’ve come too far, I can’t remember. It feels like a dreams.”

-Last dance // Big Bang

 

I still gave myself reasons to believe otherwise, though. His actions were always justified by me; he had already give up justifying himself. I was fighting for something that was no longer there.

I saw his texts get shorter and his wait to reply get longer. His excuses not to be with me became a trend, so often that eventually it was expected. The text contained no trace of love not even so much as proper punctuation. No, he did not know when he was going to be free. Sure he was going to try. He always said that.

I had enough, I get tired but my heart said he will change like how he used to be, but what if he don’t? I can feel the distance between me and him getting bigger from day to day. I don’t know what to do, so do him. Because we get tired to fight for things that are not there anymore. And I guess we should stop here.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of (their) heart, someone who thinks about you consistently, someone who spends every minutes of everyday just wondering what you’re doing, where are you, who are you with and if you’re okay. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from fears. You need someone who treats you with respect and love every part of you especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy dancing on air happy.”

-Cecelia Ahern, Love, rosie

“We┬ánever learn, we’ve been here before, why we always stuck and running from the bullets?

Just stop your crying it’s the sign of the times, we gotta get away from here, it’ll be alright, we can meet again somewhere, somewhere far from here.

We don’t talk enough, we should open up, before it’s all too much. Will we ever learn? We’ve been here before. It’s just what we know”

-Sign of the times // Harry Styles

“My reflection in the mirror is so empty as if there’s nothing there.

I walk alone on the streets but this empty streets feels so empty, I’m an empty shell a coward without you, people around me look at me with pity.

It’s over my love, where are you? When I open my eyes in the morning, my hearts feels empty, I feel the emptiness just like I did before I met you.

You still flicker before me when I close my eyes, but I’ll feel less and less as times goes by. I don’t regret, I’m just a bit of sad, I don’t miss you, i just long for you.

I’m more and more afraid because I’m not like myself before, I’m scared of see myself getting weaker, without you even the air around me is heavy”

-Empty // Winner

It’s okay to get down and be sad sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on yourself. I know you’re afraid of what you feel because you still need time to heal. You will understand yourself and your heart better when you heal, you will be whole, you will be okay, you can get through this. Don’t be afraid of experience things, don’t be afraid to feel pain again, don’t be afraid to fall again, don’t be afraid to walk alone. You’re amazing, there’s nothing you can’t do.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

When you get upset and you have to cry, cry hard. When you’re happy and you have to laugh, laugh hard. When the time your heart is broke and you have to cry, cry hard. When the time life disappoints you and people come to comforts you with their hugs, hugs them hard. When people love you, love them hard. When people ignore you, ignore them hard. When life doesn’t go as you planned, have faith. In life, do what you have to do. Face what you have to face. Cry when you have to cry. Laugh when you have to laugh. Have a good laugh when you have to laugh & have a good cry when you have to cry. Don’t avoid anything. Surround yourself with positive people. Have faith. God knows what’s best. He knows everything. Have faith.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo