People asked “What biggest lesson you learn from a broken friendship?”

A-“You don’t necessarily get back what you give. And, you can’t expect things to stay the same way as it is. People change, people grow.”

Cut off negative feelings is the hardest especially when it comes from our bestie. When someone is our best friend, we usually assume that they always will be. I mean, how could things ever change? Our best friend is our shoulder to cry on after a rough day, the first person we call when we have a bad days, someone who we share our best and worst life experiences with. Sure, everyone in the world knows that “people change” but we usually figure that our best-friendship won’t break. We always have that confident that our best-friendship can survive anything because our bond is impossible to break. Friendships can survive distance, life changes, and tough arguments. Stuff like that is no problem if, for example, we still love to do the same things, have the same sense of humor, inside jokes, have the same music taste and value time spent together.

But, sometimes, we’ve come to the painful realization that we’ve grown apart from our best friend. Neither one of us have come to dislike one another, or we just don’t click like the way how we used to.

First of all, friendship supposed to give us positive vibes. When you feel like nothing positive coming out from your best-friendship especially when your best friend constantly disappoints you, treat you like you don’t matter or belittled you. Then you have to say buh bye to your best-friendship. You know that your best-friendship is over when you keep hurting each other everyday and you have no desire to fix it. You rather hold things back because you know its pointless to address the issues. You know to call it quits when you spend more time focusing the past than the present. You holding onto your best-friendship because of your memories together. You know what, it’s time to leave the past in the past. People grow apart and that’s okay.

You don’t need to cut ties completely. Stay cordial and respectful and try to focus on the positive. Remember that you and your best friend had a great best-friendship for many years that brought you mutual joy and support. They have been there for you through thick and thin. Not every friendship is meant to last forever and you’ll always care about the person even if they are not destined to be your lifelong BFF. Live life and take care of yourself. Know when to stop. Learn to walk alone, even if it is hard at first but you’ll get used to it. Believe me.

Love yourself. Self-love matter the most.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

 

My heart pounds like a child when I see your name on my phone, everytime. You calls me every night before I go to sleep we talk about everything like there’s no tomorrow. We talk about random things, good times, bad times, our dreams, there’s no secret between us. We did nothing, we just talk to each other and hear each other voice but that make us the happiest.

We are so happy as we are right now. I like you and you like me but let’s just not talk about love. Let’s just not make things more complicated. Let’s just stay like this.

Our feelings are real. A strange story that no one believe can only be seen by us. They don’t know much about us. Isn’t the most important things the feelings we felt for each other are real? Why we have explain to others what we felt for each other?

Let’s not talk about love, don’t try to trap us in the word of love. Don’t asks me why. Don’t make things more complicated. We will hurt each other if we live under the word of love. We are so happy as we are right now, let’s just stay like this.

I don’t want you to make promises because we don’t know what tomorrow brings. I don’t want valentine’s presents on valentine’s day because I don’t want us to become something that we can’t handle. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t see anyone but you. I want to keep you forever. But let’s just stay like this.

Let the fate decide for us. Let the time tell us everything. Let the future answer your questions.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

You know what’s hurts the most?

When someone mean the world to you, live comfortably without you.

When your absence mean nothing to him.

When you are the only one who still believe he will keep all his promises, that he made to you, years back.

When you’re the only one who in love all by yourself.

When you are the only one who keep waiting for him to change to his old-self.

When he is the only reasons of your teardrops on your bed, everynight.

When you can’t see anyone but him, even he’s the one who hurts you the most.

When you keep asking yourself “how can he be so fine without me?” “did he completely forget about me?” “did she make him cry?” before you go to sleep, everynight.

When you watch 10 tv shows, 10 movies, listen to 100 songs but you still thinks about him, all the times, even it hurts.

When you love him more than yourself, but he gave his love to her, not to you.

You don’t matter to him. Because if you do matter to him, he will act like he care. If he act like you don’t matter, then you don’t.

The person who’ve made the promises to you years back is a different person with the one who you knew now. People changed. That’s how life works. The old him won’t come back to you, not tomorrow, not next week, next month, next year or even another 10 years from now, he’s not coming back.

Don’t wait for him.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

“Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet. Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry.

Let’s not make promises, you never know what tomorrow comes, but I really mean it when I said I like you.

Don’t asks me anything, I can’t give you an answer,we are so happy as we are right now.

Don’t try to have me, let’s just stay like this, you’re making it more painful, why?

Goodbyes after frequent meet-ups, repetition of broken heart, I can’t find a purpose in these foolish feelings.

A mistake with the mask of love, all the feelings are the same now. But in this moment I want you to stay.

Don’t smile at me, if I get attached, I’ll get sad, I’m afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears.

Don’t try to trap us in the words of love, because it’s the greed that can’t be filled.

At first, it was half excitement, half worries. But in the end it became an obligations trial and error. Day by day I get nervous, your innocence is too much pressure on me, but tonight I want you to stay.

Don’t expect too much from me, I don’t want to lose you either. Before things get too deep, before you get hurts, don’t trust me. But I really mean it when I say I like you”

-Let’s not fall in love // Big Bang

I’m 21, I’m still learning about life. I’ve been through a lot just like everyone else. Now I understand why mama always said that “experience is the best teacher”. From family, friends, love life and society.

Just like others, I can’t run from the bad thoughts, toxic feelings and disappointment. I went through repeated heartbreak with friends, I went through heartbreak with boyfriend, I keep revisiting negative memories, I got confused with my future, I always feel not enough with everything.

People called me clumsy because I never do things right. I always asks God to show me the way, to tell me the reason “Why me?”. Ironically, I never realized that I have a better life more than half of the people out there. I was too busy focusing on what I don’t have, I was too busy focusing on negative things (pain & struggles) in my life.

Well, things might not go well now, but guess what? It’s not forever. Just like happiness. Happiness is not permanent. So do pain and struggles they are not permanent. Take it easy and live well.

Loves,

Nabila xoxo

“Like the tides, my heart is broken. Like the wind, my heart is shaking. Like the smokes, my love is fading. I sigh deeply and the ground shakes, my heart is full of dust.

I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even a day without you. But from what was expected, I’m getting along quite well by myself.

How about him? Did he make you cry? Did you completely forget about me? Why am I so scared to approach or talk to you?

Don’t look back and leave, don’t find me again and just live on, because I have no regrets from loving you. I can bear it in some way. Day by day it will fades away.

Even one day, we bumbs into each other, pretend you don’t see me.”

-Day by day // Big Bang